


Deep Breath

by stevesherdaddynow



Series: Promises, Promises [8]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-07-11 15:07:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19930057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stevesherdaddynow/pseuds/stevesherdaddynow
Summary: Reader has come up with a plan to look after everyone, and step one turns out to be extraordinarily painful...





	1. Fine

You exit the bathroom, and go straight to your next class, where Jonathan is standing outside of the door with Steve, Nancy, and Robin. They rush to your side immediately, concern evident on all of their faces. “Are you okay?” Nancy and Robin ask in unison. Steve reaches for your hand, and you cross your arms before he can grab a hold of it.

“I’m fine. Just had to use the bathroom,” you say nonchalantly, sweeping past them to take your seat in the classroom. You ignore them calling your name, and pull out your notebook and pencil like nothing’s wrong; Jonathan is the only one who actually shares the class with you, and he drops into the seat next to you, silent as he watches your movements. You resist the urge to look back at him, and for the rest of the class, you feel his eyes on you.

Class ends, and again, you bolt out the door, leaving Jonathan to try and shove his way through the crowded halls to catch up to you. You make it to your last class of the day, which none of the group share with you, and you sigh in relief. That was easier than you thought it’d be, but ditching them in the halls was really just preamble to the actual first step in your plan.

* * *

When class lets out, you leave through the back of the school, cutting down an alleyway to a side street that will get you home. Your eyes are trained on the ground as you walk, and you’re taking deep, steadying breaths to make sure you don’t give in and start crying. If this is going to work, you can’t be the weak, needy girl everyone thinks you are.

You reach your house, and have to dig through your backpack before you locate your keys; when you finally find them and slip them into the lock, you hear a car approaching. You resist the urge to look over your shoulder as you recognize the sound of the engine; you’ve made it almost all the way inside when you hear Steve calling your name, and it takes everything in you to ignore him as you slam the door shut behind you, dragging the chain lock into place.

He starts pounding on the door, calling your name repeatedly, and you fall back against the door, arms wrapped around yourself as you try not to cry. “Baby, please, let me in,” he begs. “Whatever happened, we can fix it, please, just let me in.”

You pull your arms away from yourself and shake them out, taking another deep breath and shoving back the urge to cry as you open the door as far as the chain lock will allow it. “There’s nothing to fix, Steve. Just go,” you tell him monotonously.

“Baby, please let me in,” he begs.

“Would you stop calling me that?” you snap.

“Wh…baby? Fine,” he says, eyebrows scrunched in confusion. “Fine, but please, tell me what’s wrong. Please let me in.”

“No, Steve,” you say, looking away from him. “Just go home.”

“Give me one good reason to,” Steve begs. “You’ve been avoiding us all day, you won’t even look at me - give me one good reason to leave right now when everything in me is screaming that I have to stay.”

You force yourself to look back at Steve, willing your eyes to not flood with tears. “You need to leave, Steve, because I’m breaking up with you.” Before he can respond, you shut the door and relock the deadbolt, running up the stairs to your room and flinging yourself onto your bed.

Twenty minutes pass before you hear his car start up again and leave, and you finally let yourself breakdown and cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and so begins the angst portion of this series...


	2. Sorry

You spend the rest of the night in bed crying your eyes out, and you decide early the next morning you’re not going to school that day. Your mom is home, for once, and allows you to take the day when you tell her you’ve got a migraine; it’s not entirely a lie, as your head is pounding from all the crying you’ve done. You pull out the shirts you’ve stolen from Steve throughout your relationship, and tuck them all into a box; in a separate box, you carefully tuck away the Hawkins PD jacket and flannels you’ve taken from Hopper, and you bag up all the remnants of your D&D campaigns with the kids. 

When your dad comes to pick up your mom, she gives you her car keys, telling you she and your dad will be back sometime next week. You throw the boxes and the bag into your car, and pull out your notebooks to write quick notes to stick onto each one.

On the box of Steve’s things, you write, _Steve, I thought you should have these back._ Short and to the point, so he can’t try to read anything more into it. On Hopper’s, you write, _I will never be able to thank you enough for everything, Jim. Please tell El_ … you pause, your hand shaking as you continue writing, _no matter what happens, I love her, and she’s going to be okay._ Finally, on the bag of campaign items, you write a note addressing the entire party. _I’m sorry, kiddos, but I have to do this. I wish I could keep all of these mementos, but it’s better this way. I love you all._

You put the notes on the appropriate containers, and drive toward Steve’s house. Thankfully, his car is not in the driveway, and you leave the box on the front step. You repeat the process at the Byers residence and Hopper’s cabin, before heading back home.

You take out your notebook again, and start writing a letter to your parents.

_Mom and Dad,  
I’m sorry it has to be this way, but so much has happened in the last few months that I need to get away. I called the school for my transcripts, and they’ve forwarded them to another school; I have enough money saved up to get my own place, and I’ll call you once I’m settled. I’m sorry for taking the car like this, but once I get a chance, I’ll send it back somehow._

You sign your name, and fold the note up, and head inside to grab your things and leave the note on the kitchen counter.

As you come back down the stairs with your bags in tow, you look around the house slowly. You grew up in this house; the third stair is where you tripped and fell, breaking your right arm. The kitchen counter is where you used to sit while your mom baked, back when she was around all the time. The living room carpet was your favorite place to curl up on a summer day, with the sun’s rays shining gently through the bay window. But it never felt like home.

Hawkins never felt like home. Not until Steve, and the kids, and Jonathan and Nancy and Robin, and most of all, Hopper. They were your home…but if you stayed, they were targets. It was better this way, of that you were certain.

You lock the door behind you as you left, and put your bags in the backseat of the car. Flipping the radio to play the cassette tape you stuck in, tears started to stream down your face; you drove out of Hawkins, windows down, wind in your hair, _Should I Stay Or Should I Go_ blaring from your speakers.


	3. Gone

When you don’t show up for school that day, Nancy, Jonathan, and Robin are worried out of their minds. It’s not until lunch that they run into Steve, none of them having shared a class with him before then. Their worry increases when they see how out of it he seems, and they wordlessly come to the agreement that Robin should be the one to talk to him.

She heads over to where he’s sitting, and she plops down onto the bench next to him. “Hey, Steve,” she says, voice far more gentle than anyone’s ever heard it. “Is everything okay?”

Steve starts stabbing at his food angrily and huffs a laugh. “Sure, Robin,” he says, “everything’s fucking great. Why wouldn’t it be?”

Robin winces and keeps going anyway. “Steve, seriously, what’s going on?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Steve says. “Let’s see. My girlfriend avoided me all day yesterday, walked all the way home by herself, and then when I had the nerve to ask her what was wrong, she broke up with me. But, sure, Robin, everything’s fucking perfect.”

Robin stares at him in shock before gently putting her hand on his arm. “Steve…”

Jonathan and Nancy have approached by that point, and Nancy sits on the opposite side of Steve, putting her arm around him. Jonathan takes a seat opposite Steve and sighs. “Is that why she’s not here today?” he asks quietly.

Steve looks up at Jonathan sharply. “She’s not here?” he asks.

Nancy shakes her head. “She hasn’t been in any of her classes. We were starting to worry.”

Steve looks like he’s torn between staying angry about being broken up with and being concerned about where you’re at. “Well, there’s nothing we can do about it right now. Meet me at my car after school,” he says to Robin. “We’ll drive by her place and see if she’s okay.”

* * *

They meet in the parking lot, and agree to each check different places for you. Jonathan and Nancy are going to head over to Hopper’s, and Steve and Robin are going to go by your house, arranging to meet back at the diner in an hour.

Steve and Robin reach your house quickly, since you only live a few blocks away from school, and find the driveway empty. This isn’t cause for alarm yet, because they both know your parents are gone more often than they’re home, and it’s possible that today’s like any other day. Robin flings herself out of the car before Steve has even put it in park, and is pounding on the front door frantically, calling your name. “Open up, babe,” she calls out, “I’ll make Steve leave if you want!”

Steve reaches her side by the front door and smacks her arm. “Hey! This was my plan, remember?”

“Yeah, but Stevie, she dumped you. Maybe she’s avoiding _you_.”

They continue knocking and calling your name for about ten minutes before Robin decides to climb up the trellis by your window. She’s peering in at your empty room, about to tell Steve you’re not there, when a neighbor pokes their head out of their window and calls out to them.

“She’s not home,” they holler. “Saw her leave this morning with a couple of suitcases.”

“Were her parents with her?” Steve asks.

“Nope. They left a few hours before her in their other car.” The neighbor goes back into their house, and Robin carefully descends from your window.

She looks over her shoulder at Steve, who is biting his lip and looking more worried than he had when he was informed you weren’t at school that day. She jumps the last three feet down and puts her arm around Steve’s shoulders. “Come on. Let’s go get you a milkshake while we wait for Jonathan and Nancy. Who knows? Maybe she knew her parents were going out of town again and decided to crash with Hop. Wouldn’t be the first time right?”

“Right,” Steve agrees, allowing Robin to pull him toward the car. He can’t help but glance back at your house before she shoves him toward his side of the car, and he shakes his head. “Yeah, maybe you’re right.”

* * *

The drive out to Hopper’s is a little bit longer, which is why they all agreed to meet back in an hour, but Jonathan manages to make good time. They pull up to the cabin, which looks to be empty. There’s no car in the drive, and the curtains are partially open, but there’s no glow of the TV set like there usually is when you or Eleven are at home. They walk up to the porch, and Nancy spots the box you left for Hopper on the chair by the window.

She walks over to it and carefully opens the letter you left behind, reading it quickly; as she reads, she inhales sharply, and she turns to Jonathan with tears in her eyes. Afraid her voice will betray her, she passes it to him, and unties the loop that you tied on the bag.

The tears fall from her eyes when she sees you’ve returned his jacket and flannels to him, and she carefully reties the bag shut, taking the note back from Jonathan to tuck it back into its place. “She’s gone,” she says softly, letting Jonathan pull her into a tight embrace.

“Oh god,” Nancy chokes out, “Steve. We have to tell Steve…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....but who will tell Hopper?


	4. If

Steve and Robin have finished their milkshakes and French fries by the time Nancy and Jonathan show up, and Steve is starting to feel nauseated waiting for news. Robin’s leg is bouncing up and down anxiously, and, in uncharacteristic fashion, she’s holding Steve’s hand tightly. The bells on the door jingle, and they both look up.

Robin can immediately tell Nancy has been crying, and her heart sinks. “What did you find out?” she asks as soon as they sit.

Nancy reaches across the table and grabs Steve’s other hand. “Steve,” she says, her voice gentle. “I’m so sorry. She’s gone.”

“What do you mean she’s gone?” Steve asks, numb.

“When we got there, there was a bag on the porch with a note to Hopper. She told him to tell Eleven she would be okay,” Jonathan says slowly.

“What was in the bag?” Robin asks.

“The Hawkins PD jacket Hopper gave her, and some of his flannels she had taken over the last few months,” Jonathan answers, dragging a hand down his face and sighing. “Look, one of us has to tell Hopper. We can’t let him and Eleven find out from a note.”

“And what exactly do we tell him?” Steve asks. “That we failed at our job of protecting her on _day fucking one_ and because of that, she dumped me and left town? That’s going to go over really well with Hopper.”

“Whatever we say is going to be upsetting, Steve,” Robin says softly, pulling her hand from his. “He’s going to be devastated because that’s his _kid._ She and Eleven are his entire world, and it won’t matter to him if you think it’s your fault or if we have no idea why she left - which we still fucking _don’t._ ”

Steve turns to Robin to apologize, but she’s already getting up from the table and walking away. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow I guess,” she says, rushing out of the diner.

Steve sighs and covers his face with his now empty hand. “Fuck,” he says quietly. “I don’t know what to do here, and all I manage to _keep_ doing is piss off or hurt the people I care about.”

Jonathan reaches out and pats Steve and Nancy’s joined hands. “We’ll come with you to talk to Hopper if you want, Steve,” he offers.

Steve looks up at him and smiles gratefully. “Thanks for the offer, man, but I think I need to do this alone.” He pulls his hand away and stands up from the table. “I’ll see you guys later.”

* * *

Steve parks his car in the lot behind the police station and takes a deep breath before heading inside. Flo stops him at her desk as he tries to slip past her, and he says he’s there to see Hopper. She gives him a stern once-over before telling him to go ahead and go back there, and Steve tries not to lose his nerve as he does. He knocks on Hopper’s open door, and Hopper glances up before he smiles and waves him in.

“Everything alright, Harrington?” he asks, lighting a cigarette and leaning back in his chair.

“Not exactly, sir,” Steve says slowly.

“Sir?” Hopper’s smile fades almost instantly. “Since when do you call me sir?”

Steve sits down in the chair in front of Hopper’s desk and starts fiddling with the hem of his shirt, avoiding eye-contact with the chief. “Yesterday at school - ” he starts before Hopper cuts him off.

“What happened? Someone do something to her?” Hopper asks urgently.

“That’s the thing. We don’t know. She ditched us all afternoon, wouldn’t let any of us walk her to class, wouldn’t even look at me. She somehow disappeared after school and managed to walk all the way home.” Steve’s talking so fast he’s practically rambling, but Hopper is hanging on his every word. “I got to her house just as she was opening the front door, and I begged her to let me in, to talk to me about what happened, and she told me to go home and that she was breaking up with me.”

“Shit,” Hopper sighs around an exhale of smoke. “If that was yesterday, what happened today?”

“Well…” Steve starts. “She didn’t show up to school, so Robin and I went by her house while Nancy and Jonathan checked that she wasn’t hiding out at yours. A neighbor told me and Robin that he saw her leave this morning, hours after her parents left, with suitcases. And…” he trails off. 

“And what?” Hopper asks, voice low.

“And Nancy and Jonathan found a bag on your front porch with all your flannels and your Hawkins PD jacket in it, and a note thanking you for everything and telling El not to worry.”

Hopper takes a shaky breath, and Steve makes a point to look anywhere but directly at him. “Okay,” Hopper says finally. “Thanks for letting me know.”

When he doesn’t say anything further, Steve gets up and heads for the door. “I’m sorry, Hopper,” he says quietly. “If I could fix it, I would.”

He leaves before Hopper responds quietly, “Me too, kid.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know about you, but I smell a time jump a-comin'...


End file.
